Hello Erin,
Along with a letter with our organizational information and a few tips about what is to be expected at various intervals following the death of a loved one, we also send a 1-pager from Hope Through Healing Publications: The Grief Series | Hope Through Healing Publications.
Here's some of the basic content from our mailings:
Initial mailing includes a condolence card signed by our staff along with the following content:
Dear _______,
Our hospice
Our hospice team thanks you for the privilege of helping care for your loved one in the final days of life. We realize that this may be a difficult time, and we would like to offer our continued support to you in the months ahead.
Enclosed you will find a booklet that many have recommended as a helpful guide for understanding loss. We hope that you, too, may find it beneficial.
Listed below are ways to access grief support. We will soon be in contact to share more about these services and how we may best assist you.
· Ongoing support – A hospice bereavement services counselor will contact you to answer any questions and provide bereavement support to you and your family. It may be reassuring to know that our hospice bereavement program remains available to you for at least the next thirteen months after your loved one's death.
· Quarterly Newsletter and Information – Bereavement mailings will be sent to you every few months for the coming year. Our Hope through Healing newsletter provdes articles about grief and loss.
· Couseling Support – Our bereavement counselors are available for limited contact to provide grief support. These scheduled calls or in person visits are supportive sessions. Grief is not a disorder, a disease, or a sign of weakness. We provide a companioning model of care; there is no "fixing," or a problem to be solved. If you seek to connect with a community therapist, please contact our office for a list of available providers.
· Volunteer Support – A volunteer may be available upon your request to contact you, listen, and provide information and support through your mourning process.
· Referral Assistance – If you or family member reside outside of Ketchikan, assistance is available to link you to grief support resources and groups in your area.
· Satifaction Survey – In a few weeks, you may receive a survey form Press Ganey regarding your hospice experience. We would appreciate your candid response to the survey, so we may continue to improve our care into the future.
· Memorial Gifts – To support the continued work of hospice in memory of your loved one, you may contact ______________. Call ____________ and ask for the foundation office for more memorial gift information.
All the above resources and services are available to you and your loved ones at no cost. If you would like further information, or if there is any way we can be of further support, please do not hesitate to call Hospice at _____________.
From all of us at Hospice, we wish you much peace and comfort in the days and weeks ahead.
Your Hospice Bereavement Services Team
3 month mailing includes this content:
Dear ____,
Hospice wishes to extend it's support as you continue to grieve the loss of your loved one. Please call at _____________ if you would like to speak with a bereavement counselor, access volunteer support, or have any other issues for which we can potentially help.
Below is an adapated excerpt from Grieving: How to Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies by Rando Therese, Ph.D. We hope you find it helpful.
Normal Grief Responses
Because grief can be so painful and seem overwhelming, it frightens us. Many people who are in a grief situation seem to wonder if they are grieving in the "right" way and wonder if the feelings they have are normal. Most people who suffer a loss experience one or more of the following symptoms:
• Tightness in the throat or heaviness in the chest
• Empty feeling in the stomach and loss of appetite
• Feeling guilty and/or angry at times
• Feeling restless and looking for activity, but finding it difficult to concentrate
• Feeling as though the loss isn't real, that it didn't actually happen
• Sensing the loved one's presence, hearing their voice, seeing their face, expecting to see the person walk in the door as usual
• Wander aimlessly
• Misplace personal items, i.e., keys, glasses, wallet, etc.
• Forget what they're doing or where they're going
• Don't finish things they've started around the house
• Experience an intense preoccupation with the life of the deceased
• Assume mannerisms or traits of their ones
• Feel guilty or angry over things that happened or didn't happen in the relationship with the deceased
• Feel as though they need to take care of other people who seem uncomfortable around them, by politely not talking about their feelings of loss
• Need to tell, retell and remember things about the loved one and the experience of their death
• Feel their mood change over the slightest things
• Cry at unexpected times
• Intense anger at your loved one for leaving you.
• Feeling that you are going crazy.
• Difficulty sleeping. Frequent dreams about your loved one.
• The feeling that life has no "flavor".
These are all natural and normal grief responses. But they often make us feel a stranger to ourselves. It is important for you to find someone who will listen to you and try to understand.
If you would like further information, or if there is any way we can be of support, please do not hesitate to call Hospice at _____________.
From all of us at Hospice, we wish you much peace and comfort in the days and weeks ahead.
Your Hospice Bereavement Services Team
6 month letter:
Dear ______,
As time carries on since your loved one's death, Ketchikan Hospice wishes to continue it's offer of support. Please call at _____________ if you would like to speak with a bereavement counselor, access volunteer support, or have any other issues for which we can potentially help.
Suggestions for Helping Yourself Though Grief
• Go gently. Don't rush too much. Your body needs energy for repair.
• Don't take on new responsibilities right away. Don't overextend yourself.
• Keep decision making to a minimum.
• Try to accept help and support when offered.
• Ask for help. No one can read your mind. It's very important to find someone who cares, understands, and with whom you may talk freely.
• It's ok to need comforting.
• Be patient with yourself.
• Seek the support of others. Invite a relative/friend for dinner or overnight.
• Lean into the pain. It cannot be outrun.
• Let the grief/healing process run its full course.
• It's ok to feel depressed. Crying does make you feel better.
• If Sundays, holidays, etc., are specifically difficult times, schedule activities that you find particularly comforting.
• Seek the help of a consoler or clergy person if you feel the need.
• Try to get adequate rest. Go to bed earlier. Avoid caffeine.
• Good nutrition is important: decrease junk food & eat balanced meals.
• Keep a journal. Re-read it later and see how you're doing and progressing.
• Read - there are many books on grief. When grief is understood, it can be easier to handle.
• Exercise - it offers an opportunity to work off frustration and aids sleep.
• Try to socialize with family and friends. Don't feel guilty if you have a good time. Your loved one would want you to be happy.
• It's ok to be angry. You may be angry at yourself, God, your loved one, others or just angry in general. Don't push in down. Let it out (hit a pillow, scream, throw old dishes, throw silly putty, or clay balls, hit a punching bag, exercise etc.)
• Grief takes TIME. It comes and goes.
• Do things differently yet try not to make a lot of changes. This sounds like a contradiction, but it's not.
• Plan new interests. Join a class, learn something new.
• Plan things to which you can look forward - a trip, visit, lunch with a friend. Start now to build new memories for tomorrow.
• Find quotes, posters, poems that are helpful to you and post them where you can see them on a regular basis.
• Pray and partake in spiritual nourishment offered by your faith tradition.
• Other ideas: take a hot relaxing bath, bask in the sun, take time for yourself (movies, theater, dinner)
• Talk and/or write to your loved one. Tell him/her what's on your mind.
• Do something for someone else. Join a volunteer or support group. Helping others does much to ease the pain. Reach out and touch someone.
• Remember, you will do better. Hold onto HOPE. Some days you just seem to exist, but better days will be back.
• Simply stated - put balance into your life
• REST*WORK*PLA Y
--Adapted from Safe Place by Anita Savage, Stanford, CT
If you would like further information, or if there is any way we can be of support, please do not hesitate to call Hospice at ______________.
From all of us at Hospice, we wish you much peace and comfort in the days and weeks ahead.
Your Hospice Bereavement Services Team
9 month letter:
Hospice offers bereavement support for thirteen months after your loved one's death. Please call at ________ if you would like to speak with a bereavement counselor, access volunteer support, or have any other issues for which we can potentially help.
Mourner's Bill of Rights
adapted from the work of Dr. Alan Wolfelt
· You have the right to experience your own unique grief.
· You have the right to talk about your grief.
· You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions.
· You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits.
· You have the right to experience "grief bursts."
· You have the right to make use of ritual.
· You have the right to embrace your spirituality.
· You have the right to search for meaning.
· You have the right to treasure your memories.
· You have the right to move toward your grief and heal
If you would like further information, or if there is any way we can be of support, please do not hesitate to call Hospice at ___________.
From all of us at Hospice, we wish you much peace and comfort in the days and weeks ahead.
Your Hospice Bereavement Services Team
12 month letter:
The team at hospice recognizes the anniversarsary of your loved one's death is approaching. Please know that our thoughts are with you at this time. We are aware that it may be natural for grief to surge at this milestone. The first year has been full of "firsts,", the ups and downs of feelings that are experienced and discovering ways to honor and remember your loed one. Be gentle with yourself and others. Continue to engage in rituals, traditions, activities, and connections that bring meaning and invite you to laught, to cry, to play, to tell stories, and above all, to live.
We have been privileged to have cared for your loved one and to have had contact with you during this last year. We hope that the mailings, including our newsletter, have been supportive. Please know that this letter concludes our formal hospice bereavement involvement with you, meaning the mailings will no longer be sent. We are also aware that the grief journey often "takes as long as it takes" and we will continue to be available to connect you to resources that support your needs. We have a list of local counselors. We hold special events and can let you know about programs and resources. If you have questions or desire further assistance, please do not hesitate to call __________ and ask for our social worker or hospice manager.
Sincerely,
Your Hospice Bereavement Services Team
Hope this is helpful to you! Best wishes.
JoBeth Shimek
Original Message:
Sent: 05-01-2024 02:56 PM
From: Erin Staggers
Subject: Bereavement Mailings
I'm wondering if anyone is willing to share your Bereavement mailings that you send out? The mailings I'm using are fairly old from the girl who did it before me (I took the job 5 years ago). I don't necessarily have to change it, but I was curious about updating/modernizing them.
Thanks!!
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Erin Staggers
Volunteer/Bereavement Coordinator, Home Hospice
UPMC Western Maryland
1050 West Industrial Blvd, Suite 19
Cumberland, MD 21502
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