Bereavement Professional

  • 1.  Bereavement Camp

    Posted 08-05-2022 11:50 AM
    For those who offer a children's grief camp, do you ever allow a parent or guardian to be present for any unique reason. Or are you pretty strict about a parent or guardian being present and why. I would love to hear some of your models for camp. Thank you

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    Karen Monts
    Director, Grief Support Services & Practice Manager, Counseling Services
    Northstar Care Community
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  • 2.  RE: Bereavement Camp

    Posted 08-08-2022 09:31 AM
    Hi Karen,   We have a 3 day overnight bereavement camp and, no, we've never had parents there during camp per se. Each camper is paired up with a trained volunteer for the entire weekend and I would think having a parent around would not work as well as the amazing connection the campers and buddies develop over the course of the weekend. We do howevever invite families to join  us for lunch on the last day of camp. That way the camper gets to introduce their buddy to the parent(s) and the volunteer buddy has an opportunity to tell the parent about their child and what transpired over the course of the weeeknd. After lunch the kids participate in a game or some sort of activity that provides the parent and volunteer some 1:1 time for that conversation.  And parents then get to watch as each child particpates in a closing ritual where they share what they're planning to do, going forward, as a way of feeling connected to the person who died. Seems to work well.

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    Patti Anewalt, Director
    Pathways Center for Grief & Loss
    Hospice & Community Care
    Mount Joy, PA
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    Original Message


  • 3.  RE: Bereavement Camp

    Posted 08-08-2022 10:44 AM
    Hi Karen! Just like Patti, we do not allow guardians on campus during grief camp. We let them know it is so the camper can fully experience camp without feeling "observed" by the guardian. We share that in grief, often children don't express their emotions related to the loss so as not to upset their adult who is also grieving, and having full autonomy at camp gives them space to do so if they need to. Guardians are invited to our closing ceremony to get a first hand glimpse of grief camp. For guardians who are extra nervous about not being with their camper, we provide a phone number they can text during camp, and we reply with a general status update about their camper to reassure them that all is well.


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    Alissa Drescher, MA, LPC, FT, GC-C
    Senior Director, Mission Based Services
    1721 Patterson Street | Nashville, TN 37203
    w: 615-346-8406 | m: 615-483-3860 | adrescher@alivehospice.org | AliveHospice.org
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    Original Message


  • 4.  RE: Bereavement Camp

    Posted 08-08-2022 11:14 AM
    In regard to 'allowing parents/guardians' to child/adolescent camp:  We had parents/guardians drop their child(ren) off and fill out the only form which was not already signed and completed prior to camp - our photo release. Following this, they left camp and we took responsibility for their children.
    Camp staff met on Friday evening to debrief and to look over final lists of who was in what group(s)... following this, I took all of the staff out for dinner.  We all met back at camp Saturday morning to finalize set-up and greet children/parents/guardians.
    Saturday evening, around 7:00p we had our Camp Memorial - pending where camp was located, we either had a bonfire or we had a campus chapel - and in both cases, we had individual candles that we lit for our loved ones. The breakout session earlier in the day allowed age-appropriate groups to create mementos for the Memorial... some groups included photos of the campers loved ones. All campers had the opportunity to say something or read something about their loved one -- and Parents/Guardians were invited back for this memorial.  Included in the Memorial, were the Grandmother and Mother of the Camp's namesake - Christopher, who shared their story of life and death and hope.
    Parents/Guardians were welcome to stay after the memorial for snacks (usually S'mores, or such) before going home for the night.  Campers went back into small groups one last time before heading to dorms for the night.  Our final group took place on Sunday morning and campers' Parents/Guardians picked them up at 2:00 p.m.

    Glad I could share this with y'all.  Peace.​

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    Andrew J. Vitale, CT
    Bereavement Coordinator-Spiritual Counselor
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    Original Message


  • 5.  RE: Bereavement Camp

    This message was posted by a user wishing to remain anonymous
    Posted 08-09-2022 11:01 AM
    This message was posted by a user wishing to remain anonymous

    Hi Karen, we require a parent or guardian to accompany our kids to camp. It's a weekend camp, but not overnight: folks go home or to a hotel & return the next morning. Kids & adults are separated most of the day: kids into age appropriate groups & adults to their own group. Everyone processes their grief together in their peer groups and then reunite for lunches & gatherings like the opening ceremony & celebration of life. We feel it's important to include adults, not only to give them space to grieve & express their anxiety at (usually) not knowing how to best support their kids, but also to educate adults on childhood grief, to better support the kids when camp is over.
    Original Message


  • 6.  RE: Bereavement Camp

    Posted 08-09-2022 03:06 PM

    I would have many hesitations/questions about that.  I am not aware of us ever allowing it.  It is challenging enough when there are younger and older siblings.

    1.  What is the purpose?  If the child has medical needs beyond what the camp nurse can do then I would question if camp is an approriate spot for the camper.
    2.  Would they be trained as a full volunteer with completed background checks, HIPPA, expectations, etc?
    3.  I would have to consider how this might inihibit the camper to experience the camp experience with a parent around.  We know kids often deal with their grief differently around parents.  Camp can be a place to try new coping skills, have a chance to try and be different then what is expected at home, etc.  So, I would worry the child may not get everything they need to out of camp.  Could the parent realize and accept they cannot jump in at every opportunity to "save" their child if they were expressing emotion, having a difficult time with another camper, etc.?  Boundaries would be important.  (This would be my #1 concern.)
    4.  Would the other campers know this was a parent of a camper?  How might this impact them?  If this parent knows other kids parents the kids may not be as open due to concerns about what might get back to mom and dad.

    5.  Can the parent allow for all of your rules and expectations to be followed and realize they may have to give up control on somethings?  For example...we do not tell our campers what, or how much, they have to eat at meals.  They have the autonomy to know.  Could this parent know they could not control that?

    6.  Would they be a volunteer for a group of kids that is not their own?  Could they distinguish the ability to not be in charge of their child at every moment?

    Just a few random thoughts.

    Lisa

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    Original Message


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