Bereavement Professional

Looking for suggestions...

As the number of individuals being remembered at our semi-annual rememberance gatheirng has increased, our team is rethinking how we present the candle lighting ritual.  The number attending is also increasing as well.   

In the past, we have always had plenty of candles on the table for family members and staff to light as many candles as they would like in memory of those being remembered.  

Years ago I attended a service where the hopsice had the names of the individuals being remembered on the candle and the family would come forward and one person would like that particular candle.  If your hospice does this, can you share how you present this to those in attendance.

In the past, the glass votive with a dragonfly charm along with a quoate has been their gift of remembrance from us to them.

Your ideas and suggestions would be greatly appreciated.  

We had such good attendance at our memorial services that we just added services to keep the numbers down.  We now have 6 a year with around 36 families participating at each service.  We only read the names of the patients whose families are at the service.  We read and have the name projected on a screen via PowerPoint, have the families come up to light one candle, and hand them a long-stem rose.  To light the candle we hold out an unlit 6 in. taper candle so whomever of the family is the "designated" lighter can take it and light it from the ceremonial candle of life, they light the votive candle with the taper, then blow out the taper and keep it.  This seems to symbolize very well the transition from physical to spiritual life.

We have a yearly memorial service and did something different last year. Instead of lighting over a hundred candles, I had 12 large pillar candles on a table at the front of the room and we read the names of those who died by the month of their death. A staff member lit a new candle as each month was announced. I had smooth stones on the candle table and invited anyone present to take a stone home with them. We also gave out small plants for families to take home. 

I received a lot of positive feedback about this.

That is a great idea, I love it.  Do you have many people attend the ceremony? In the last few years we've only had 10 or so.