Bereavement Professional

  • 1.  Vernacular of "Death, Dying, Dead, Died"

    Posted 01-19-2021 12:49 PM
    Does anyone have links to articles / info to using the specific vernacular of "death, dying, dead, died"?  And/or the importance of using that vernacular (and of course following the lead of the families)?  If not, perhaps this would be a good discussion starter....


  • 2.  RE: Vernacular of "Death, Dying, Dead, Died"

    Posted 01-20-2021 09:54 AM
    Probably 20 years ago I had a handout that listed ALL the metaphors used instead of saying 'dead' - it was a full page of them but I have no idea where it is now. One of my 'pet peeves' is when those of us in the grief and bereavement field use the word 'passed on' instead of died. I believe we need to model for others using the actual terminology. Passed on conveys a faith perspective and it's fine to in fact believe people have passed onto another life or passed on into heaven. But that's our personal belief. I feel as professionals we  need to use the word 'dead' or 'died' because that in fact is what it is. This is particularly important when working with children as we help them understand what that means. 
         I do have a funny story about that however. I was doing a supervisory visit with one of my staff who was meeting with a 9 year old boy whose father died. When the counselor used the word 'died' the little boy interrupted her and said "I wish you wouldn't say that. I like to say "passed on" because it helps me think about my Daddy being in heaven." (This speaks to your reference to following the lead of our clients). So she did appropriately correct herself as they continued on with their conversation. After a few more counseling sessions and participation in our kids grief group he actually did start saying his father died when, each week, the children would gather in a circle at the start of the group to say who died and how they died. 


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    Patti Anewalt, Director
    Pathways Center for Grief & Loss
    Hospice & Community Care
    Mount Joy, PA
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  • 3.  RE: Vernacular of "Death, Dying, Dead, Died"

    Posted 01-20-2021 10:22 AM
    Thank you for this post - it's always a good reminder.  I don't think anything make me cringe more than the term "expired"...I think of milk and credit cards...​

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    Lori Williams, MSW, LISW
    St. Luke's Hospice Duluth, Social Worker/Bereavement Coordinator
    Duluth, MN
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  • 4.  RE: Vernacular of "Death, Dying, Dead, Died"

    Posted 01-20-2021 11:23 AM
    interestingly, I am doing a presentation for interns and will be talking about the use of the terms death, dying, dead and died and our euphuisms for them.  I don't have an article but did a Google search for euphuism and death which generated lots of links.

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    Cate Jarvis, MA

    School Grief Support Counselor
    Hospice Care of
    Southwest Michigan
    Oakland Centre
    2255 W. Centre Ave.
    Portage MI 49024
    269-345-0273
    cate.jarvis@hospcieswmi.org
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