Bereavement Professional

  • 1.  Mother's Day Tea for the Bereaved

    Posted 02-20-2018 12:22 PM
    On one of the Chats recently someone mentioned that they do a Mother's Day Tea for those who have lost their mother or a mother that has lost a child. I love this idea.

    Does anyone else do this? Is it just a "tea" social time, a time to connect with others who are grieving? Or is there teaching involved? I would want to give them some tools - such as we do for the Grieving Through the Holidays (all holidays from Thanksgiving - New Year's). 

    I would want to open this to the community. Currently, I am thinking about doing it the Sunday before Mother's Day. What have others found works best?

    Does anyone do something for Father's Day as well?

    Thanks

    ------------------------------
    Jolene Currie
    Director of Bereavement
    Niagara Hospice
    Lockport, NY 14094
    ------------------------------


  • 2.  RE: Mother's Day Tea for the Bereaved

    Posted 02-21-2018 10:53 AM
      |   view attached
    Actually a lot of hospice programs offer a Mothers Day tea or breakfast but they are not for women whose children have died, they are for women whose mothers have died. Ours is called Remember Our Mothers, and it is always held on the Saturday before Mother's Day. So if any of these events, which are quite popular, for women whose mothers have died, are offered around Mother's day in your area it might be confusing to offer something similar for women who have lost their child. I'll attach the flyer for our event this year. We also have a Facebook page for it.

    ------------------------------
    Patti Anewalt, Director
    Pathways Center for Grief & Loss
    Hospice & Community Care
    Mount Joy, PA
    ------------------------------

    Attachment(s)

    pdf
    ROM Regis Form 18.pdf   410 KB 1 version
    Original Message


  • 3.  RE: Mother's Day Tea for the Bereaved

    Posted 02-21-2018 02:07 PM

    Jolene and others interested,

     

    Next month there will be an NHPCO webinar on "Creative Approaches to Bereavement" in which Mother's Day teas are included. If you can make it you may find that a helpful place to learn more about that kind of event and those similar. 

     

    Joelle Osterhaus, MSW, LCSW, LICSW, ACHP-SW
    Hospice, Palliative Care and Continuing Care Psychosocial Services Manager

    Kaiser Permanente Northwest
    Continuing Care Services
    2701 NW Vaughn St., Ste. 140
    Portland, OR 97210-5344
    Hospice Reception: (503) 499-5200

    Cell Phone: (503) 312-0819
    Clinical Fax: (503) 499-5535

    1__=<a href=07BB0AF4DFEF22D48f9e8a93df@domino.kp.org">          image001.jpg@01D39F2B.E828E280

    kp.org/thrive

    NOTICE TO RECIPIENT:  If you are not the intended recipient of this e-mail, you are prohibited from sharing, copying, or otherwise using or disclosing its contents.  If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify the sender immediately by reply e-mail and permanently delete this e-mail and any attachments without reading, forwarding or saving them.  Thank you.

     




    Original Message


  • 4.  RE: Mother's Day Tea for the Bereaved

    Posted 02-21-2018 02:15 PM
    Oh that's perfect. I am already register for the chat. 

    I have been doing bereavement for eight years but have never done a Mother's Day event - it seem like it would be something well worth our time to invest in doing. 

    Thanks

    ------------------------------
    Jolene Currie
    Director of Bereavement
    Niagara Hospice
    Lockport, NY 14094
    ------------------------------

    Original Message


  • 5.  RE: Mother's Day Tea for the Bereaved

    Posted 02-26-2018 09:46 AM
    ​I am planning a Mothers day tea for our agency and would love to register for the chat. Can someone tell where to register for the chat?

    Cynthia Craddock
    Original Message


  • 6.  RE: Mother's Day Tea for the Bereaved

    Posted 02-26-2018 07:07 PM

    Great question!  Here is the registration link for the Webinars. Please note there is a registration fee per site that allows as many participants to join in the same room for no additional fee:

     

    $95 for members

    $225 for non-members

     

    https://www.nhpco.org/Webinar%20Registration

     

    Thanks and please let me know if you have any further questions.

     

     

    Joelle Osterhaus, MSW, LCSW, LICSW, ACHP-SW
    Hospice, Palliative Care and Continuing Care Psychosocial Services Manager

    Kaiser Permanente Northwest
    Continuing Care Services
    2701 NW Vaughn St., Ste. 140
    Portland, OR 97210-5344
    Hospice Reception: (503) 499-5200

    Cell Phone: (503) 312-0819
    Clinical Fax: (503) 499-5535

    1__=<a href=07BB0AF4DFEF22D48f9e8a93df@domino.kp.org">          image001.jpg@01D39F2B.E828E280

    kp.org/thrive

    NOTICE TO RECIPIENT:  If you are not the intended recipient of this e-mail, you are prohibited from sharing, copying, or otherwise using or disclosing its contents.  If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify the sender immediately by reply e-mail and permanently delete this e-mail and any attachments without reading, forwarding or saving them.  Thank you.

     

    NOTICE TO RECIPIENT:  If you are not the intended recipient of this e-mail, you are prohibited from sharing, copying, or otherwise using or disclosing its contents.  If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify the sender immediately by reply e-mail and permanently delete this e-mail and any attachments without reading, forwarding or saving them.  Thank you.




    Original Message


  • 7.  RE: Mother's Day Tea for the Bereaved

    Posted 02-22-2018 11:46 AM
    ​Hi Jolene,
       Our program had a Mother's Tea a few years ago. We offered it to mothers who have had a child die and daughters who have had a mother die. Most attendees had a mother that had died. It was well attended, one of our volunteers spoke of her child that had died and a staff person spoke of her mother that died. Conversations were pretty deep for this occasion, it was catered.
       We also attempted a Father's Day event but the response rate was low so we didn't end up having it. We do have an ongoing drop-in group and that is well attended by men as it turns out.
       Good luck with your planning,
    Cindi

    ------------------------------
    Cindi Gray, LCSW
    Director, Grief Support Programs
    Hospice of Santa Cruz County
    ------------------------------

    Original Message


  • 8.  RE: Mother's Day Tea for the Bereaved

    Posted 02-23-2018 11:18 AM
    ​HI all
    This is a bit long- but it is a best practice (including ideas, rituals and exercises) that we put together based on past Mother's Day events. Hope it helps!

    Ideas:

        • Have a panel share experience of mother loss at different stages of life (child, teen, younger adult, mature adult); both the impact and what helped to cope.
        • Have small group sharing- maybe grouped by age when mother died.
        • Do guided imagery, journals
        • Have a tree planting mother's memorial
        • Could expand concept from just biological mother to being "mothered" by individuals
        • Advertise through faith institutions in addition to normal ways.
    Possible Readings/Rituals: 
    • Have participants share: "I am-----------, daughter/son of-------------- and I treasure this memory------------------.
    • Let us gather in a circle to remember in a special way the mothers we miss and carry with us always. We need to do something with our memories. We can turn them into fuel to fill us and propel us forward into our lives and into a world full of people who need us. How do we do this? We claim them and we celebrated them and we find ourselves lifted forward by them."
    • "Place your right hand over your heart. Feel it beating. Feel the Creator's gift of divine life and love coursing through your body. Feel your mother's gift of human life and love flowing unceasingly and warmly within you."
    • You, Spirit who has created us in our mother's wombs where we rested, be with us today in our remembrance. Console us with your touch. Heal us with your love. Pour out upon us your grace and let peace and joy be the fruits this day.
    • Your mother is always with you. She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk; she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives inside your laughter and she's crystallized in every tear drop. She's the place you came from, your first home; and she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can separate you…Not time, not space…not even death!" 

    Journaling Exercise:
    • Introduce yourself, your mother and your loss: I'm ______________.My mother ________ died of_____ after______ (time sick). She was ______years old. I was _____old at the time of her death
    •  Describe your initial reactions to her illness and her death: Share what you told yourself and what you expected of yourself. Describe your feelings and how you coped. What were your concerns and fears? 
    • Describe the longer term effects on you: What have you noticed about how your mother's death has affected your life? Effect on your other relationships? How you've felt about yourself and your family life?
    • Describe what's been helpful to you and how. Describe any "gems" you've found in your life from this. Describe what you hope for.
    • Meditation (maybe dim lights; light music in the background.)On the horizon, we first see the color red. At the base of the rainbow we notice the richness of the red. We note its texture and warmth as the red greets us and offers us its hues. As the red starts ever so slightly to lessen, we see a new color begin to appear. The tinge of orange streaks through as the red fades. Before us and all around, we notice orange. Like the red before, the orange offers us comfort and welcome. We can breathe into the orange, fully. And with each breathe of color, out bodies can relax and feel the gifts of orange. Just beyond the orange, we see again the color start to shift. The shades of yellow break through as if it is a sunrise greeting us on a perfect morning. We can welcome the newness of the color as it freshly surrounds our experiences, our feelings and our relationships. Notice the color. Notice the familiar feel that yellow brings. Yellow too only visits for a brief while before yielding to the next color in the rainbow. As green enters, we can notice the change in the texture of the color. The green feels different even though it is familiar and comforting. We notice the change can invite a fragrance. The fragrant smell of green fills our noise as we are healed and are comforted by the green. As the green move around us and through us, we notice that blue waits at the edges. It too has a message of comfort that it brings just for you. You can welcome the blue, feeling it as if it were an old friend. Its familiar rich shades remind us of the water of the bluest ocean and prettiest skies we have stood under. We can breathe in blue mists of comfort. Just like with the colors before, the blue gives way to another color. At first this color is off in the distance floating towards us. We notice it shimmering and vibrating with a life of its own. Finally, the color comes closer and we are greeted by the most gorgeous color of indigo. The purple streaks swirl and support us as we float of the color, enjoying every drop of this fresh color. The purple offers us both alertness and relaxed presence where we can rest and be for a minute or two. As we look around us and below, we can still see all the colors we have just passed through. They are all still there folded into the purple and stacked like a feather mattress where we can rest upon its top layers.As we rest in our alert place, we are aware that our mother can be invited to this place to rest with us. We have rested here with her many times in our sleep and sometimes in our daily hours. Invite your mother here with you to simply share some time together. Take time to notice what she is like. How does she appear to you? What does she look like? What does she smell like? How does she sound? Notice the love that is available between and around you as the colors support both of you in this place. Any hardship that you had together can be set aside, for the time being, to appreciate the love that is shared. Rest here in this moment for a minute in silence…..Your mother may have come today with a special gift for you. It may be an item, or it may be words that she wants you to know. Or, the gift may be simply sharing a few minutes together. Whatever it is that she has to offer, let that come to pass now. Take in what she has to give you. In return you might wish to give her something as well. Perhaps an item, or special words or simply the time in silence together. Whatever it may be, let that come to pass at this time. As you float upon the colors of the rainbow, you and she can notice the love that is available for your shared past, for now and the future. Savor this moment.It comes time for you and she to part, but only for a short while. As you prepare to return to the room, you know that you and she can be together any time you wish, simply by returning to this place. Any time you want, you can connect with you mother. At anytime you can close your eyes and breathe her into your heart. As you begin your return to this room, you still feel her presence. You still feel and treasure the gifts you exchanged. As your eyes open, back here now, you are a different person than the one who left only a few minutes ago. Breathe, Notice. Stretch and be with us here as we continue on.
    •   
    • Close your eyes if you would feel more comfortable. Settle into your chair so you're as comfortable as possible. Start by focusing on breathing and drawing a few deep breathes in…and out. Let's imagine for a few minutes the colors that come to us in a rainbow. We can imagine these colors as they create a net of comfort and safety all around us now, and in the future.


    ------------------------------
    Robin Fiorelli LCSW
    Sr. Director of Bereavement and Volunteers
    VITAS
    ------------------------------

    Original Message


Related Content