I have used the Rumi Poem the Guest House many times. It is truly one of my favorites. Grief is Not is a new poem to me and lovely. Below is one I found some years ago and is a favorite in my grief groups.
When Does Grief End
Grief hits us like a ton of bricks,
flattens us like a steamroller,
hurls us into the depths of despair.
We know in a flash when grief hits,
but when does it end?
Like the month of March,
grief rushes in like a lion,
and tiptoes out like a lamb.
Sometimes, we don’t know when grief leaves,
because we don’t let go of the lion’s tail.
Why do we hold on so long?
Grief offers us safety,
protection from the world.
We don’t want to let go
because we secretly fear
that we’ll forget our loved ones,
and we don’t want to forget - ever.
We don’t want to let go
because we fear the future
and having to face life without our loved ones.
We don’t want to let go
because we make the mistake
of measuring our grief with the depth of our love -
when neither has anything to do with the other.
How do we know when grief has run its course?
How do we know when we’ve grieved enough?
Cried enough?
“Died” enough?
How do we know when it’s time to let go of the tail?
We know when we feel joy again, in something or someone.
Joy in living. Joy in life.
We know when we wake up in the morning
and our first thought is on something other than our loss.
We know when we look ahead with a smile
and back with fond memories,
and when we no longer dread the nights.
We know when our life starts filling up with new interests and people,
and we start reaching for the stars.
Grief ends when we let go of the tail.
Margaret Brownley, Bereavement Magazine, Jan/Feb 2002
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Ellen Hufschmidt
Essentia Health St. Mary's Hospice
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Original Message:
Sent: 07-02-2015 08:59
From: Carmella Dow
Subject: Bereavement Group Inspirational Readings
Thank you for sharing that reading, Ceceley. I, too, am always looking for new readings/poems for our bereavement groups. Here is one of my favorites... I always get great feedback from group participants when I share this.
Grief is Not, by Jane Yolen
Grief is not getting easier,
but becoming more ordinary,
As if I've always carried this stone in my breast,
calling it a heart.
Grief is not going away,
just not arriving in tsunami force.
Rather it's a steady high tide,
which makes me wonder about the rocks below.
Grief is not a one-time thing,
not several days, weeks, months,
but is a visitor who has moved in for good,
and occasionally helps out around the house.
Grief is not unwelcome here,
for it reminds me of how much I have lost,
and how blessed I was
to have so much to lose.
Hope this helps, would love to hear from others as well.
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Carmella Dow
Concord Regional Visiting Nurse Association, Inc.
Concord, NH
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Original Message:
Sent: 07-01-2015 12:54
From: Ceceley Chambers
Subject: Bereavement Group Inspirational Readings
I like to start each week of the Bereavement Group I lead with an inspirational poem or reading. However I am getting tired of all the ones I have and am looking for some new ones.
Here is one of my favorites, care to share yours?
The Guest House by Rumi
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
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Ceceley Chambers
Bereavement Coordinator
Visiting Nurse Services of Newport and Bristol Counties
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